NOW!

Chalk another one up for the Gender Equality Movement. Make that two. First, Jennifer Parcells got her 20-year-old ass zapped in the 'Raq, becoming yet another in a growing list of American female KIAs. (AGAIN proving that women do have what it takes to serve in combat. Their bodies absorb bullets and shrapnel just like those of their male counterparts!) Second, Anna Nicole died. Yay! (Dead pornstars can't undermine The Movement if they've choked to death on their own puke. Let this be a lesson to money-grubbing, pill-popping, self-hating whores everywhere...)

Will Bunch wants to know why we'll only hear about one of the above deaths on the news. I want to know why we'll never hear about any of these deaths on the news. I mean, I dig the novelty aspect of it (you know, she was a woman) and yeah, she was probably real brave and an American hero or whatever when she was catching all that lead, but, seriously, where's the fucking love for ALL the dead grunts?

I'm all for women in combat but maybe they should start marketing death to little girls like they do to little boys. You know, Combat Barbie in her Sport Up-Armored Humvee and FOB Dreamhouse. Soccer in combat boots. Pink toy guns. That's the road to real equality.