Search: AOL + Nuts in the Mouth + Dead Bitches

AOL posted a buncha their users searches on-line and one of the users was apparently some dude who was very curious about what would pop up when you type the words "how to kill your wife" into the search engine. I decided the poor bastard was being hung out to dry -- who the hell knows what he was searching for? Maybe he heard some shit about a website, maybe he's researching a book, hell, maybe he was just fucking bored at work and wanted to know what would come up if you typed "how to kill your wife" into the AOL search engine... Whatever the hell he was doing, God forbid the day The Main Cop gets a chance to start investigating every time somebody out there types something fucked up into a search engine.

As a test to see how on his toes Big Brother actually was (and because I'm at work and bored out of my fucking mind), I typed in a buncha fucked-up shit myself into the Google search engine -- here's what I learned:

Kill My Wife -- a website for killmywife.com (not sure what the fuck I was looking at, but I didn't see any dead old ladies); a coupla joke websites; and a link to an old episode of Kojak. Shit, I can hear the Feds knocking at the door now...

Dead Bitches Everywhere -- a link to a site from somebody called Rich Little Poor Girl and Snoop Dogg

Chopped-up Bitches -- I accidentally typed in "chopped up bitces" and Google was kind enough to ask, "Did you mean chopped up bitches?" Goddam, I love the Internet...

Kill Everybody In A Fiery Blaze of Terroristic Fucking Glory -- Instapundit.com??? Shit, I felt fucked up just typing that shit in... I don't EVEN wanna know what's on Instapundit.com...

Dead Nekkid Little Kids -- Nada. Figure that's gotta be the jackpot, right? Even when I hit Images, I didn't get anything (and, believe me, my SafeSearch is OFF)...

The point is that trying to figure out what some asshole has in mind by reading his search logs is FUCKING RETARDED. Pure and simple. Granted, most people in the course of their day aren't gonna type in Kill My Wife fifty fucking times, but just cuz somebody did doesn't mean the motherfucker's actually looking to kill somebody...

Then again, it sure would be funny if the law did start reading that shit and decided to swoop in, you know looking for the bastard son of Osama Bin Laden and Richard Speck, only to find some bored 12-year-old with his Dad's AOL password...